How to Create Meaningful New Year’s Resolutions That Stick
When You’re Tired of Hiding After the Holidays
January doesn’t arrive gently.
It shows up right after you’ve spent days—or weeks—being not quite yourself around family. Editing your language. Avoiding topics. Smiling through comments that didn’t sit right.
You survived the holidays.
But now you’re left with that familiar, heavy question:
I can’t do another year like this… so what actually changes?
Most people don’t want a brand-new personality in January.
They want relief.
They want alignment.
They want to stop feeling like they disappear in the rooms that matter most.
If that’s you, you’re not failing at New Year’s resolutions.
You’re craving meaningful change that’s emotionally possible.
Why Most New Year’s Resolutions Fail (Especially After the Holidays)
Traditional resolutions tend to fall apart because they skip over what just happened.
You didn’t start January fresh.
You started January exhausted.
After time with loved ones where you weren’t fully authentic, your nervous system is often:
On high alert
Overstimulated
Bracing for the next interaction
And then resolutions ask you to add more effort on top of that.
Another reason resolutions fail?
They’re usually built on vague dissatisfaction instead of clarity.
“I should be more myself.”
“I need better boundaries.”
“I can’t keep doing this.”
True—but without support, those thoughts turn into pressure, not progress.
Especially for people coming out of evangelical or high-control religious spaces, where:
Harmony was rewarded
Discomfort was spiritualized
Authenticity had consequences
Change feels risky, even when it’s deeply wanted.
Why Intentions Work Better Than Goals Right Now
Goals tend to focus on what you’ll do differently.
Intentions focus on how you want to show up—especially in moments that usually feel sticky.
That matters when your biggest pain point isn’t productivity.
It’s being unseen in your closest relationships.
A goal might sound like:
“I’ll be more honest this year.”
An intention sounds like:
“I want to notice when I’m holding back—and get curious about why.”
That subtle shift reduces pressure and increases follow-through.
Intentions help you stay connected to yourself during real-life moments—like family dinners, texts from parents, or conversations you normally dread.
That’s how New Year’s resolutions that stick are actually formed.
What Helps Change Feel Sustainable (Instead of Overwhelming)
If being authentic were just about confidence, you’d already be there.
What most people need after the holidays isn’t motivation—it’s emotional readiness.
Change sticks when you:
Understand why you go quiet or agreeable
Learn how to stay regulated during hard conversations
Practice honesty in low-stakes ways first
Stop expecting yourself to flip a switch overnight
This is why small, guided reflection works better than big declarations.
And it’s exactly why I created the Hidden to Authentic Livin’ 5-Day Email Challenge—to help you gently reconnect with yourself before asking you to act differently.
If January has you thinking, “I can’t keep living this double life,” you can join the free challenge here:
Creating Resolutions That Actually Stick (For People Who Hide)
Here are a few ways to frame resolutions when your core struggle is authenticity—not discipline.
1. awareness-first solutions
Instead of forcing change, start with noticing.
“I will pay attention to when I censor myself.”
“I will notice what topics make my body tense.”
“I will track when I leave interactions feeling drained.”
Awareness creates choice. Choice creates change.
2. values-based resolutions
Not what you say—why you want to say it.
“I value honesty, even when it’s uncomfortable.”
“I value feeling settled in my body after conversations.”
“I value relationships where I don’t have to perform.”
Values give you a compass when old habits kick in.
3. Micro-Authenticity Resolutions
Authenticity doesn’t start with big confrontations.
“I’ll share one honest opinion a week.”
“I’ll stop explaining myself when I don’t need to.”
“I’ll let silence exist instead of filling it.”
Small moments build confidence faster than big promises.
4. Post-Holiday Repair Resolutions
Many people feel regret after family time.
“I’ll be kinder to myself about what I couldn’t say.”
“I’ll reflect on what I wish I’d done differently.”
“I’ll use that information—not shame—to guide my next step.”
That’s how New Year mental health actually improves.
The Hidden to Authentic Livin’ 5-Day Email Challenge helps you stop hiding and start telling the truth—without blowing up your relationships or forcing yourself before you’re ready.
In five short emails, you’ll:
Pinpoint why you go quiet or agreeable around certain people
Name what actually stops you from saying what you mean
Practice small, real ways to show up more honestly—starting now
No pressure.
No overhauls.
Just forward motion that feels doable.
👉 Join the free Hidden to Authentic Livin’ 5-Day Email Challenge here:
This year doesn’t need reinvention.
It needs truth.
Support that holds you steady.
And one next step you can actually take.
I’m glad you found your way here.
about the author
Hannah Brents is the founder and lead therapist at Safe Talk Therapy. She helps exvangelicals and religiously raised adults stop hiding who they are so they can live with more honesty, ease, and self-trust.
With graduate degrees in theology and social work, plus advanced trauma training, Hannah specializes in supporting people recovering from purity culture, religious pressure, and chronic people-pleasing. She’s known for making change feel possible—without forcing big confrontations or spiritualizing discomfort.
Her work centers on helping clients reconnect with themselves, rebuild authenticity in close relationships, and move forward at the speed of safety.
