If the holidays leave you feeling tense, checked out, or bracing yourself around family—especially when religion, church plans, or faith-based traditions come up—you’re not alone. For many exvangelicals, holiday overwhelm isn’t caused by busy schedules or gift lists. It comes from navigating family expectations, unspoken pressure to participate in religious traditions, and the emotional weight of old roles resurfacing all at once. When those dynamics are in play, staying present during the holidays can feel far more difficult than it looks from the outside.

Written by a licensed therapist who specializes in religious trauma and family-related stress.

Why Holiday Overwhelm Often Comes From Family and Faith

When people think about holiday stress, they often picture shopping lists or travel delays. But for many people, the real strain comes from relationships.

Common sources of holiday overwhelm include:

Being asked to attend church, participate in Bible study, or join family devotional time
Feeling pressure to explain or justify changes in belief
Navigating questions about relationships, parenting, or lifestyle choices
Slipping back into old family roles, like peacemaker or “good kid”
Trying to avoid conflict while still honoring your values

The American Psychological Association notes that family expectations and social pressure are among the most common contributors to holiday stress.

For people healing from purity culture or religious trauma, even well-intended invitations—like going to a drive-through nativity or sitting in on Bible study—can activate stress responses shaped by past experiences where belonging depended on compliance.

That reaction isn’t overdramatic. It’s protective.

Signs Holiday Overwhelm Is Building in Your Body

Recognizing early signs of overwhelm is an important part of effective holiday stress management. These cues often appear before you consciously name what’s happening.

Physical signs of holiday overwhelm may include:

Tightness in the chest or throat during family conversations
Jaw clenching or shoulder tension
Headaches or deep fatigue after gatherings
Restlessness or trouble sleeping

Emotional signs may include:

Irritability or snapping more easily
Feeling checked out or emotionally flat
Automatically people-pleasing, even when you don’t want to
Dreading time with certain family members

The National Institute of Mental Health explains that prolonged stress can heighten emotional reactivity and physical symptoms, especially in socially demanding environments.

If you’re reading this and thinking, “Yes—this is exactly what happens to me,” support can help you move through the holidays with less tension and more steadiness.

Holiday Stress Management: Ways to Stay Present During the Holidays

Staying present doesn’t mean enjoying every interaction or forcing yourself to feel calm. Effective holiday stress management focuses on supporting your nervous system through difficult moments.

Decide Your Limits Ahead of Time

Knowing what you will and won’t participate in—church services, Bible study, devotional time, or certain conversations—reduces pressure in the moment.

Build in Short Breaks

Brief pauses matter. Stepping outside, sitting quietly in another room, or taking a short walk can help your body reset when emotions run high.

Use Simple Grounding Techniques

Grounding practices such as slow breathing, feeling your feet on the floor, or noticing sensory details can help you stay oriented during uncomfortable moments. These techniques are commonly used in trauma-informed care.

Choose One Daily Moment of Presence

Having one predictable, calming moment each day—a walk, quiet coffee, or evening wind-down—can anchor you during a socially intense season.

Adjust Expectations

You don’t need to handle family dynamics perfectly. Consistent self-support matters more than emotional performance.

Holiday Mental Health Support When Family Stress Feels Too Heavy

If family gatherings regularly leave you anxious, shut down, or emotionally exhausted, holiday mental health support can help you understand what’s happening and respond differently.

Therapy can support you in:

Understanding why certain family or faith dynamics feel so activating
Learning how to say no without overwhelming guilt
Reducing people-pleasing patterns rooted in religious conditioning
Building skills for staying present during the holidays without abandoning yourself

The holidays tend to intensify stress, which makes this a particularly meaningful time to seek support.

When to Seek Holiday Mental Health Support

If navigating family expectations or religious traditions feels overwhelming this season, therapy can help you understand what’s happening in your body—and respond differently, without guilt or shutdown.

You don’t need to wait until January. Holiday overwhelm is real, and support during this season can make a meaningful difference.

Book a Therapy Consultation

About the Author

Hannah Brents, MSW, MTS, LICSW, LCSW, is a licensed therapist with over 8 years of experience supporting clients in Austin, Texas, and virtually across Texas, Florida, and Massachusetts. She specializes in religious trauma, purity culture recovery, anxiety, and attachment-related stress, and uses evidence-based approaches like EMDR, Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT), and nervous-system-informed mindfulness to help clients reduce anxiety, set healthier boundaries, and feel more present in their bodies and relationships.

At Safe Talk Therapy, Hannah provides compassionate, expert care—both in-person and online—for clients navigating holiday overwhelm and family-related stress.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why do the holidays feel overwhelming?

The holidays often bring increased expectations, family dynamics, and emotional pressure. For many people, especially around family, this can activate stress and make it harder to feel calm or present.

Why is family stress worse during the holidays?

Family stress often increases during the holidays because old roles, unresolved issues, and differing beliefs resurface when people spend extended time together. These dynamics can feel especially intense if you don’t see family often.

How can I stay present during the holidays?

Staying present during the holidays often involves slowing down, setting limits, and supporting your nervous system. Small practices like grounding, taking breaks, and choosing one calm moment each day can help.

What are signs of holiday stress or overwhelm?

Common signs include irritability, emotional numbness, people-pleasing, fatigue, tension in the body, trouble sleeping, or dread before family gatherings. These are signals of stress, not personal failure.

Why does religious pressure feel harder during the holidays?

Many holiday traditions are tied to religion, which can increase pressure to attend church or participate in faith-based activities. If your beliefs have changed, these situations can feel emotionally loaded and stressful.

Is it normal to feel guilty setting boundaries during the holidays?

Yes. Guilt is common when boundaries challenge long-standing family or religious expectations. Feeling guilty doesn’t mean the boundary is wrong—it often means you’re doing something new.

Can therapy help with holiday stress?

Yes. Therapy can help you understand why holiday situations feel overwhelming and build tools to manage stress, set boundaries, and stay present during family gatherings.

Should I start therapy during the holidays or wait until after?

You don’t have to wait. Many people find holiday mental health support helpful because stress is often higher during this season, not lower.

When should I seek holiday mental health support?

If holiday stress consistently leaves you anxious, shut down, or emotionally exhausted, professional support can help. You deserve support during high-stress seasons, not just afterward.